Winter Weather Warning

The federal government has issued the following travel warning..........

Anyone traveling in blizzard conditions should carry the following:

1. Shovel. 
2. Blankets or sleeping bag. 
3. Extra clothing, including hat and gloves. 
3. 24 hours' worth of food. 
5. De-icer. 
6. Rocksalt. 
7. Flashlight with spare batteries. 
8. Road flares or reflective triangles. 
9. Full spare gas can. 
10. First aid kit. 
11. Booster cables.

I looked like an idiot on the bus this morning!

Quotes

Old Woman: I look too white, don't you think? 

Cheryl: Not at all. I'm just trying to match your face with your hair. I was thinking you're not white enough. 

Old Woman: I think I look kind of weird. 

Cheryl: The first rule of fashion is you have to look weird. What I'm doing has come straight here from France. 

Old Woman: Oh? 

Cheryl: It's called Cirque du Face, meaning "Circus of the Face", and it's all the rage with the Frenchies, ma'am. 

Old Woman: Well, you're the professional.

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Cheryl: Happy Halloween, Retail Rodeo shoppers. There's a Retail Rodeo special on all bulk candy on aisle 4. Ghouls and goblins, witches and warlocks, wandering these aisles day after day, I put a Halloween curse on your hellish heads.